I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
