Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
