I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The power of my boobs compel you
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
