woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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