my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
