Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
