Sry I called you an 8
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
