you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
