i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
