Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
