I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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