Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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