so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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