I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
