my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
