we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
