Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
