Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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