i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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