Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Do you have feelings for this penis?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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