So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
