Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
