U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
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