We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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