he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
