Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
