its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
