just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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