a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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