Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
