yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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