apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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