Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
