But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
