whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
