no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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