I want you more than these girls want KFC
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
