He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
