dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
