you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
