i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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