My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
