I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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