I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Holy sore nipples Batman
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
