I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize