You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
