the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
