Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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