After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
