you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Randomize
