I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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